Ever since I was a teenager, I would keep a journal. I hesitate to call it a diary. Diary's are for squealing girls who are embarrassed about having a crush on the popular boy, or for accounting how horrible the girls at school are. My journals documented things happening to me that I just needed to get out. I write them only for me. And I write this blog only for me. If someone happens to find it, read it and decide to interact, more power to you.
I recently had a change in my relationship status. After fifteen years, minus two, I have asked my "baby daddy" to move out of the house. This decision was not reached quickly or in haste. It had been a long time coming. Someone once told me that when a women decides to end a relationship, she has already ended it in her mind years before. Mine was no different. In the spring of 2016, after 8 years of attending college, I finally earned my Bachelor's degree in Social Work. On the day of my graduation, he had to work. The guys at work said they would cover for him and he should be at my graduation. All he had to do was get in the car and drive 40 miles. All he had to do was show up for me. But that proved to be too much for him; just as doing anything special for me proved to be too much. He rarely made me feel like I was special or important to him. That in turn made me feel like I was nothing.
That is not me. I am something. I am a strong minded, independent, stubborn, opinionated, kind, loving and loyal woman. Maybe that proved too much for him to handle. Maybe, I am too much for any man to handle. Right now, I am alright with that.
So this change brings about other changes. I have a few projects going on around the house. I have a tendency of starting projects and then not quite finishing them. However, the other day, I finished a project. I set out to put a two or three shelves over my washing machine. Just those wire shelves, easy enough to put brackets up on the wall. However, those types of things were never my job. That was always his job. I had asked him for years to put shelves over my washing machine. So when he finally moved out, I did it myself. And I completed it. Now, I'm painting my kitchen, and hopefully doing a penny counter top. Maybe next year.
So I don't know what this blog will consist of. Not even sure I will keep up with it. It's just every once in awhile I have something to say. Words, or a story that just need to get out of my brain. And it's easier if I just get it down on paper. We shall see where this thing leads me. So I close my eyes to old ends, and open my heart to new beginnings.
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